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(no subject) [Jul. 20th, 2006|10:42 pm]
[Current Mood |chipperchipper]

So. I've been up to a lot. Sort of.
Work is boring as hell. And my boss keeps screwing up my schedule. So its annoying. I've changed my mind since my last post. It is that bad. There's one insane!!! woman who keeps coming in. Calls me by my first name and all. Every time she sees me she grabs something off the nearest rack to come to my register. Shows up the next day to return it (because she doesnt care about the size. she wants to talk and stuff). Shes pretty disgusting. Covered in coffee the other day. Yeah. Then one guy flirted with me like insanely. He was like 50. It was gross.
Camp started! Its a ton of fun, as always. There hasn't been any drama yet, which is amazing. I love this show. I think everyone should come to see it. Its Chicago, by the way, and its going to be amazing. Especially the Cell Block Tango. It looks amazing, from what I can see. I'm in one of the cells, until the very end. Very fun.
So. My parentals are on vacation. So The house has been insane. To say the least.
Um I got my report card. I have a 5.7 GPA, and I'm 46 out of like 1100 kids. I'm quite proud of this year. I'm just hoping I stay in the same spot next year. I'm a little nervous. I want to stay top 50 at least.
There has actually been very little drama for me this summer. Its proving to be quite nice. Aside from the drama that was slightly mentioned last entry, its been incredibly peaceful. Of course, there has been in-house stuff going on, but other than that, my friends and I are getting along great. I've been hanging out with Sam, Sammie, and Griff constantly. I couldn't ask for better friends. Too bad Sam is going away so it won't be like this next year. Which is sad.
College changes everything. All of the relationships with my friends have changed, some for the better, and some for the much, much worse. I just hope that I stay in touch with the friends that mean a ton to me.
Thats my rant.
Let me know someone is reading.
I don't care who you are or what you have to say.
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Busy [Jun. 26th, 2006|11:24 am]
[Current Mood |stressedstressed. irritated.]

So. I've been busy.
Senior Prom was great. My friends are amazing. We went in the limo, and drank our sparkling cider, took gazillions of pictures, went to prom, danced, me and griff took the cutest prom picture, went to maloney's, and into boston the next day. It was great.
Graduation was depressing. I miss all my seniors. Not to mention that I'm terrified of being a senior myself. Going away to college will be hard.
All my friends are back in Brockton! Its great. I missed always having someone to call to hang out. And I missed having my friends to talk to if I needed it. I have people here that I can talk to, definitely, but there are some people that relate to different things.
I went on my meet and greet with my potential new doctor. I didn't like her. She seemed condescending, and like she was trying to impress my mom more than me. I'm the patient, and its my decision, and I felt like she was trying to hard. And I didn't feel like I could talk to her about anything. Like, it seemed like itd be hard to open up to her and stuff. So now I'm meeting with other doctors.
I got a job! I work at Sears now, as a cashier. Its not going to be too bad, I don't think. Everyone seems nice, although its a little odd to see the behind the scenes, business aspect of everything. But, I'm getting paid (I'm opening a direct deposit account soon) and I get a dandy discount, so its nice. My second day is tomorrow. I think I'm actually working the floor a little bit, which should be a nice start. I'm just excited to be doing something.
Footloose was amazing. It went smoothly, and everyone seemed to enjoy it (and, according to Hogan, he enjoyed it to. That was a good thing). I'm doing straight acting again next year, because I need some BHS stuff for college, and I want to get back into the acting part. I want to double major with acting in college, so its important that I do a lot of it. Unfortunatly, although I LOVE dancing and singing, there is no future in it for me. I'm an actress. It has my passion and love, and I feel so comfortable doing it. I of course will be doing summer camps. We're doing Chicago this summer. I'm SO excited I can't even explain. It starts the 11th. I can't wait, honestly. I love to dance, and thats basically what summer camp is all about. And I love performing. So its awesome.
I got into AP English and AP Calculus. I got an A in both classes this year (english and math), so that helped. I really want my GPA and class rank to come back really good.
I got invited to a Law conference in DC. My guidance counselor recommended me, and I think it might be a good idea. I want to see what kind of law I could do. I want to do like child advocacy or something, to help the good guys, not to defend the bad. I used to think I could only do defense and protect criminals, but I know better. Law has always been an option, and now I can explore it. The conference is all recommended students, for 5 days in DC during the school year. I'd be able to go and do a bunch of seminars and explore my options, and I really, really want to do it. Its like 1340 bucks, plus travel costs, but there are fundraising and scholarships available, so I think I might do it. My parents are seriously considering it. It'd be really fun.
These last two days have been kind of tough. Ma's going for a test in Boston today, so I'm kind of stressed about that. I'm worried about school next year and college searches and stuff. And I just had a huge fiasco with someone that I really don't want to talk about. It seems like as I get older, things get harder, and I hate that. I used to want to be older, to make my own decisions and run my own life. But as I get there, I see that its not all that great. Sure, its going to be nice to have my own money and be off in the real world, but its going to be so hard.
I just can't wait for the fresh start. To meet people who don't already have expectations. To get out into college, make my own decisions, go where I want when I want, and to gain some independence.
Well, thats it. I'm tired. I want to shop. And I need to hang out with my friends.

Leave me commentary!
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(no subject) [May. 2nd, 2006|08:51 pm]
Prom was great. I had an awesome time. I can't wait to get all of my pictures. I have a few on a site and on myspace. Both links are in my profile.
After prom was great. Didn't really sleep much.

I realized today (well not just today, but started to think about it) that I don't really know where I stand with people anymore. I used to be so sure about things. Who was a friend to me, who I couldn't stand, and who I wanted to be around. But now I feel like either I'm completely changing or they are. I hate being confused about people. People I've been friends with forever I barely talk to anymore. People I thought were new friends and great friends seem like they're holding back. Maybe its just me. Or some irrational thing going on in my head. But I don't get it anymore. I'm getting into my 'wow, i'm alone' frame of mind. It seems like everyone else has someone more important to them in their lives than me. Like I'm just taking a way-back seat to everyone else. And I hate that. I hate feeling like I'm going to be left behind.
It feels like either I don't understand other people or they don't understand me.

So yeah. That was my rant and rave for the evening.
Leave me comments?
Tell me what you think about me? Let me know where you stand?
I really, really need that right now. Even if it sucks. I need to know.
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I'm not that Girl [Apr. 21st, 2006|06:42 pm]
So Wicked was AMAZING!!!
I definitely think that it topped Lion King.
And John stealing like 50 playbills was great.
"Here it comes!"
Pole dancing on the train.
I wish I could see it again!

We go back to school on Monday. I really don't want to go.

Prom is Friday though. I'm really, really excited about that.

I still have no shoes. Or jewelry. So I should get on that. And I have to see if the alterations are done on my dress. Oh so much to do, so little time.
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So [Mar. 25th, 2006|11:49 pm]
So, I've basically been trying to fit in a life where one can't exist.
Right now, I'm in Once Upon a Mattress, Footloose, I'm trying out for Guys and Dolls, and I'm starting driver's ed in a few weeks.
On top of that, I'm trying to keep my english and math grades A's, and keep my Latin and Physics grade B's.
And then, I'm having life. Every Sat. night, Sam, Sammie, Griff and I hang out and watch movies and stuff. Its a great time. I love my new quartet. They are cool cats. In fact, I just got back from a fun filled night of exhaustion and Aimee looking WICKED dumb and being weird. Gotta love it.
This is/was my schedule.
Thursdays: Capachione at night
Fridays: Either Capachione, or last night it was Leanne's
Saturday:Capachione 1-6ish (next weekend all day. Its my opening and 2nd show)
Sunday: 1-5 (next weekend its a show) and all of my homework
Monday: School. Right after I have NHS (this week I have music rehearsal for auditions) And that night I have the teaching of choreography at 630, judging at 830 or something
Tuesday: At night, this week, I have the Lead auditions. I'm not gonna get a part, but I figure what the hell.
Wednesday: My one and only day off

And then it repeats. Minus the abnormal stuff. But yeah.

By the way. I'm so weird.

Thats my random update.

And I want to tell you
COME SEE ONCE UPON A MATTRESS at CSPA on the 1st (2:00 and 7:30), 2nd (2:00 i think), 7th(730) and 8th (I think 2 and 7:30)
Tickets are 14 dollars
I get to play a whore
Please come!!!
If you get me the money, I can get you your tickets.
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I hate today [Feb. 14th, 2006|09:36 pm]
[Current Mood |pensiveI HATE THIS DAY]

So basically. Valentine's Day sucks.
I woke up this morning really tired. Wore my shirt that said "Love is like a merry go round. If you stay on long enough you'll throw up a little,". Yeah. You can tell what my mood was.
And then I got to school. Got to watch couples make out while giving flowers, and see all the dead roses in school (sign much?).
English teacher was absent. I thought my day was finally looking up. But nope. Not so much. My math teacher was a dipshit. But he always is. But i got a 90 on my first quiz. So I thought that was a good omen too.
But then came Physics. Mr. McCarthy is my least favorite person right now. He came over cuz i didn't get something (that I have never gotten. None of us do. Yet we got a pop quiz on it, although he knows this. He hasn't given it back. But he chooses THIS quiz to not give half credit on). But yeah. He's like 'what don't you get?' So I started pulling out homeworks saying "This, this this, that whole page, this whole section, all but this one, none of these" on all the papers. And seeing as I got B's both terms of 1st semester and I have a nice GPA, I'm obviously not quick to be stupid. He's like 'just try'. So as I'm getting more frustrated he's making me feel more stupid. So he decides to hold me after class while I'm out on the way to lunch. He said "What seems to be the problem" (he always says that.) So i said that I don't understand any of it. And he said like 10 times, with me disagreeing that 'I have a good brain for Physics and that he knows that I understand it." Which is bullshit. So I said so, without those words. "Did you not see the papers I just showed you? I think that getting more than 80% of them wrong, because I have no idea what numbers go where or how to use them, is considered NOT getting it" were the words I believe I used. And then he tells me again to just keep trying and it will become clear and stuff. And I said "Not by the test Friday, which, by the way, its quite obvious that myself, nor the majority of the class, is prepared to take if we want a chance of passing," and he's like "Oh, don't worry about it, you'll get it," so I said, "No, I don't think I will," and he said "Trust me," and I said, "Kinda hard," so he said again that I'd understand it. So I said, while turning around and leaving in the middle of his talking "I don't believe I actually will,". And that was the end of any goodness in my day until I got home
Latin confused the fuck out of me. I have no clue what I'm doing. At all. And I snapped at Sammie, which I felt bad for, but she understands.
Then we did this stupid thing in Gym for MCAS, which annoyed me because it was ALL JUNIORS AND SENIORS DOING IT!!! So that was that.
I didn't stay after because I was in such a bad mood I couldn't handle dealing with it.
Got home. Got TWELVE letters from colleges. And a Valentine from my sister. Called my mom. Vented to her.
She got home. Gave me adorable presents. And my daddy gave me a stuffed gorrilla that makes noises and has heart boxers on. Which made me smile.
Until some more bad stuff happened that I don't feel like dealing with. Actually, two bad stuffs. That unless you know it isn't your business to know.
All that matters is that, as much as it irks me, as the song goes, I WILL SURVIVE!!

But yeah. Thats basically how my Valentine's Day went. I hate this holiday. And as a lovely girl named Jess said
Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you have a valentine
I hope they give you herpes!
Which all in all makes no sense at all. But whatever. It made me smile!!!

And this was wicked, wicked long. But whatever. I don't care. Deal with it. If you can't stand the letters, get out of my journal.

Leave love.
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(no subject) [Jan. 26th, 2006|09:37 pm]
[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]

Since competition i've gotten an ear infection that spread. So I've been sick.
But, while sick I auditioned for Once Upon a Mattress. And got a part.
I'm Lady Mabelle. Greg's character, Sir Harry, gets in a fight with his pregnant girlfriend and takes up with me. I'm French, and can only say 'yes' in English. So yeah. It should be fun. And Theresa said that I'm one of the highlighted dancers in Spanish Panic, the big dance scene. So I'm excited about that!
Footloose auditions weren't fruitful for me. I didn't get anything. But I will live, because I know I auditioned well, so its nothing I could do anything about. So yeah. But I'm wicked happy for Emily and Greg. They got amazing parts!!!
Febfest is starting. Its a little weird, because they are trying to break me out of my honest acting stuff. Like the show we are doing is a comedy, so we're being told to be over the top. So I feel like I'm indicating and overacting. Which is so different than what I'm used to. I'm not too sure about it. Like I feel like I'm doing it wrong when they say I'm doing it right. But its a different style, I guess. I'll deal with it.
I really want to audition for You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown at Massassoit. I'm just worried about how busy my schedule already is. And the fact that I won't get in. Its just the experience of the audition that I want.

So yeah. I'm wicked busy.
Got in a fight w/ my Physics teacher today. That was so fun! (insert sarcastic flip off)

Survey just becauseCollapse )
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Wow, what fun [Jan. 15th, 2006|10:07 am]
[Current Mood |stressedstressed, but relieved]

So yea, I'm in Connecticuit right now. And what fun it is.
It actually started amazing. I took the ride in with Greg and his mom. We had a blast. Except for when I took his picture and he stole my camera and i almost broke his finger. Then he almost broke mine when i got it back. Yeah. But we had a blast.
Then we watched all the performances. EVERYONE was amazing. I think i peed from laughing at Maloney, just a trickle. And Emily's solo was A-FRIEKIN-MAZING. And so was Sweeney's. And CJ made me tear up a bit.
And then I went back and ate dinner in my room. :-/. Chicken fingers and fries. Only thing i really ate all day.
Then awards. Which made Maloney a bawling mess, because she got Platinum (the highest award) and 1st place in her division. WHICH IS AMAZING! I am so proud of her!
Then we went to Emily's room to chill. I got a headache.
Then the real not fun part started.
I woke up around 7 with like acid build up of something. Took pepto and tums and it wouldn't go away. Then around 8:30 I got sick. Really sick. Which woke my sister up. Who woke my mom up. So I got in bed and had some pepto. Got sick again. And then I was fine for a bit. I started to get nauseous again, which I knew was a bad sign. I couldn't even keep down water. And I was dry heaving. Which sucked.
So, I had my mom call the ER to see how long the wait was. And they told her to take me to the immediate care center in the hospital. I got out of bed to go and made it to the door and had to curl up on the floor. She called for a wheel-chair. That took 10 minutes to get there. Yeah, love hotel service, don't you? So they wheeled me down to the car, drove me there. I waited for like 15 minutes, then they made me get up and stand on a scale. I almost passed out on the way. And the second I sat down, I got sick again. Which was retarded, cuz there was nothing in my system.
So, they gave me meds for the nausea. As I'm leaving, I get to the door and collapse in a chair. My entire arms went numb, and my fingers wouldn't uncurl. My face went almost gray and I couldn't open my eyes. It was like I could hear everything going on around me, but I couldn't say or do anything. It was on of the scariest things of my life.
Somehow they got me in a wheelchair and broughtme back to the room, covered me in blankets, and stuck me w/ an IV. Yeah. One of the most painful things in the world. I almost passed out just from that.
While I had the IV in i kept crying, 1-from being sick and 2-because all of my competition stuff was that day. If I wasn't out in time, I would have missed Emily and Greg. Which I was looking forward to. And then there was all my group numbers. So tara called me and told me I didn't have to do any of it if I didn't feel up to it. I cried.

And guess what? I GOT THROUGH IT ALL! I almost threw up a couple times before I got onstage, but I did it. During Star Spangled Banner I almost passed out from sheer exhaustion, and lack of anything in my system. But I finished, all through Wicked. We did Fame (Gold Trophy), Sweet Charity (High Gold), Seussical (High Gold), Footloose (Platinum), Star Spangled Banner (Platinum) and Wicked (Platinum). We did amazing. I am so proud of myself and of my group. Myself for getting through everthing. I got off after Wicked, and started sobbing on Maloney, because I finished everything. Then I sobbed on mom. I was just so happ that I got past all of what I went through and finished. And my group had to conform to a few things because of me, mainly the lift in Fame. Cheralyn had to do it for me.
All in all, yesterday was one of the scariest things in my entire life. I thought that the second I sat in that chair and passed out thatI was in deep shit. But I did it!
And I realized how close everyone in CSPA is. Because I have people I don't know offering help and assistance if I need it. Parents I don't know are asking if I'm okay. Students I don't know are asking how I am. I think that helped me get through everything.

EDIT: WE WON BEST STUDIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Capachione... [Jan. 8th, 2006|12:45 am]
[Current Mood |depresseddepressed]

Damn it.

Well, I was going to write about Competition and all that. But I'll get to it later...

I just realized something. If I get into Competition at BHS, I can't do Capachione this year. Because its all at the same time. I'll go to 45 minutes of class and need to leave. And I need a job. So basically, depending on whether I get into BHS competition, which I really, really, really want, I can't do Capachione. I'll end up one of those random summer camp people. And it tears me up. I hate the thought of not going there every week. Not dancing up a storm. Not being with all the people I've grown up with. I grew up at Capachione. This is my seventh year. I've taken classes, from voice, to acting, to dance, to all three. I don't remember not having Capachione. A ton of my friends are there. It feels like a family to me. I don't want to have to leave. But I might. I need a job. I need to take Driver's Ed. I want to audition for Massassoit stuff. I can't do any of that right now. I need to focus on my future. But I really, really want to do Capachione. But I can't very well make my parents pay for it when I can't go. Or ruin it for everyone else when i don't go for 3 months then suddenly show up and expect to be included. It just isn't fair.
So depending on what Mr. Hogan decides, I'm going to end up just going in the summer...
I hate this...All this complicated stuff.

On the other hand, I am having the time of my life doing Competition. I love it. Its hard this year, takes a lot of energy. I had to work this time. Its one of the most challenging things I've done, between the choreography and the energy. I honestly have no idea how I'm pulling half of it off.
But I'm wicked nervous. I'm in the front a lot. If I mess up, the judges will ALL see it. Every last one of them. I want to do well. I want to see Capachione at the top. I want to blow them all away.
And I know we can. We are awesome. We're all pulling together. We can do it.

Maybe I'll go to bed now. But then again, maybe not. I can't decide.
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Lots [Jan. 3rd, 2006|12:53 pm]
Lots of updatish things

Ummm Hannuka was fun. Since it was basically all of vacation.
I got my hair straightener :-). I love it. Got a bunch of socks. Some perfume. Books. calander. A game. Sweatshirts. A robe. makeup stuff. Johnny Depp pictures. FAME. Urinetown (haha greg). and other things.
My Aunts house on Xmas was a good time. It was relaxing. And the food was delishious.
New Year's at Leanne's was alright. Neither of us particularly loved it. Seeing 5 couples sit around you and make out isn't exactly me definition of a good time. And then there was Drama. But whatev.
Her me and griff got together a couple times. One of them we made cookies and such. The other night we went to see The Producers. ITS A-FRIEKING-MAZING!! Funniest movie I've ever seen. ASnd we had chinese food. Visited Nick's grave and wished him a happy new year.
Competition is in 10 days. I am so excited, but so nervous. I just dance in it, so I'm not spotlighted or anything, but some of the stuff is hard. And I'm in the front a lot, so if I screw up, its easy to spot. And its my last competition w/ Capachione, so I'm kind of sad. But yeah. I still need to get all my costumes together. And we're working on sweet Charity on thursday. Oh joy...lolz. I'm just hoping that greg and i don't burst out laughing and can do it seriously during competition. Its a little weird. I mean, we're wicked close friends. And us two having to do that 'sexily and lustfully'. yeah. awkward central. But I think we are both good enough actors that we can handle it. Right, Greg?
I went to NH yesterday to visit my mom's best friend and her family. I might be going to Martha's Vineyard w/ them for a week this summer. They usually take a babysitter w/ them so if they go out at night alone they can spend time together w/out the kids and stuff. And they have the cutest 2 yr old I've EVER seen. I swear, I almost took him home with me. So yeah. A week in Martha's Vineyard for free, with a very awesome family. I definitely wouldn't mind that.
And today is a snow day. Ick. I hate snow.
And now I'm missing a day of my summer.
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